A quick story about "slanty eyes" and why getting the Asian American history curricula bill passed for K-12 in NJ and the US is incredibly personal and important to me and to all Americans:
In 2018, when my youngest was in 1st grade, H got all silly as he normally did at bedtime, made a "slanty-eye" gesture and chanted "Slanty eyes Chinese!" repeatedly. I was horrified. I immediately asked alarmingly, "What did you say?! Who said that to you?!" He must've noticed how seriously I reacted and thought he was in trouble and started to cry. He had NO idea that it was a racist trope. I needed more information from him so I assured him that he wasn't in trouble. After he calmed down, responding only to yes/no questions from me, I found out that another child showed him that gesture at lunchtime and most of them thought it was funny. When he finally calmed down and felt safe enough for us to talk about it, we had to talk about why it wasn't funny, why it can be hurtful and offensive, and why it's considered bullying and racist if he or anyone else had done it on purpose. His said, "Mom, first graders are not smart enough to do that on purpose." I assured him that his friend probably just thought it was funny and shared it with their lunch table. But he/she probably learned it from someone who should have known better. If we normalize this behavior and brush it off as "they're just joking and having fun as first graders do," then it will continue to be normalized and accepted when that behavior is no longer funny and cute, like when the only 7th grade Asian American kid at the lunch table having to endure racist jokes of their behalf while others consider it "funny." Exactly where is the line when "Oh they're just joking around and being funny" cross over to "Whoa that's racist?" If my kid is old enough to encounter racist tropes as the butt of a joke, then they are also old enough to learn about racism and racist behavior. His experience is obviously not singular, since even Sesame Street wrote a song about it.
Many of us live in constant fear for the safety of our loved ones and for ourselves. Just because a community does not talk about it or acknowledge it explicitly does not mean our students and their families are not carrying this weight at school or when they go home. Repeated explicit racism on public display deeply impacts the learning and mental well being of our students of color and their families. This stress is compounded when we experience implicit bias in workplaces or schools. There's no escaping it, we've just learned to cope. But it's been relentless and exhausting.
Racism is perpetuated often not by major explicit incidences, though they also happen regularly to many people of color, but by a thousand little cuts in mundane daily interactions with others who are just not aware, who gaslight, or doubt our experiences. It is also perpetuated by systems and institutions that support it, implicitly with silence, or explicitly through policies.
Learning about each other’s particular experiences as American are opportunities for us to celebrate, acknowledge, and learn about one another, about our triumphs and struggles, about the human capacity to overcome and be resilient. What is particular about Asian American history is that Asian Americans do not have a singular immigration story. We are a diverse bunch who came to America at different points in time from many countries for many reasons, speak many different languages, practice many faiths, and belong to many cultures. We are often ignorant of the policies that brought us here or ones that prevented our ancestors from coming here, and ignorant of the history of the trails that our ancestors blazed. We often feel disconnected from other Asian Americans, because we just did not learn about our stories throughout our education. Being able to learn our stories will be opportunities for kids to be mirrored in someone else and to be seen, acknowledged, and know that they are not alone.
My silence is my complicity. I know there are other Asian American families in our school district filled with just as much worry and fear as I am. As a parent, I really want the authorities in our district to be able to say I hear you, I see you. You are safe here and we won't tolerate hateful words and actions against our Asian American students.
Laura Choi